Tatiana knows what a classy dame I am and therefore got me Rock of Love Season 1 on DVD for two months late Chrismukkah. The only way to get through this crapfest is booze, booze, occasionally shielding your eyes, and more booze. This drinking game practically wrote itself, then puked, made out with someone and passed out.

Here are the rules:

1. Bret asks “Wassagoinon?” You must repeat it back immediately. The last person to do so: take a drink.

2. Lacey talks about how she’s so diabolical and decides who she will get kicked off next: take a drink.

3. When Rodeo laughs like a wild woman: take a drink.

4. Heather is topless: take two drinks (one for each boob).

5. Bret disgustingly makes out with one of the skanks contestants: turn around to spare your eyes and take a drink.

6. When Brandi M. pukes in Las Vegas: take a drink…of water. Learn from her mistake and pace yourselves!

7. Bret talks about his boner: take a drink.

8. Big John keeps it real: take a drink.

9. Someone gets injured in a motocross/mud football/stripper pole incident: take a drink.

10. You hear “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”: pretend to be surprised and take a drink.

Cheers!

Alright, so I know this is a blog about TV, but the Oscars ceremony has always been a big part of TV history. Maybe not as much as the Super Bowl, but I know of a lot of people who’d rather stay in to watch the Oscars or have an Oscars party rather than go to a Super Bowl party. (I did grow up in the dance/arts world, people). Needless to say, with the resurgence of dance and musicals in movies and TV over the past few years, I am super glad that dance is finding its way back onto our screens.

I started watching the Oscars every year in 1998, when Titanic was nominated for 14 awards. I taped that telecast and watched it again and again after that night, and while most people remember James Cameron’s egomania and how no other film stood a chance, I remember the dance clip that set choreography to the nominees for Best Score, Musical or Comedy.

Watching this now, it’s a little boring. Even if my 14 year old self did try to learn the Men In Black section.

Flashforward to 2009: Moulin Rouge, Chicago, Dreamgirls, High School Musical, Nine, Hairspray, Glee, Mamma Mia, The Producers. All these movies have, in 8 years, brought back a genre that’s been pretty much “dead” since the 1970s. Enter Hugh Jackman at the Oscars. He had a killer opening number, followed by a production number produced by Baz Luhrman that ended with “The Musical Is Back!” Hells yeah.

Which brings us to this year’s show. To build on the the ratings increase from last year, the Academy announced at the end of 2009 that Adam Shankman and Bill Mechanic would be producing the 2010 Oscars telecast. Adam Shankman began his career as a dancer in the 1990 Oscars and has since become a multi-hypenate director/producer/choreographer in the film and TV world. Described by the New York Times as “trim, high-strung and ebullient” (which is in fact, a dead on description), I know him mainly from “So You Think You Can Dance” as a judge. And while I couldn’t care less about the latest Miley Cyrus film he’s producing, I am extremely excited to see what he’ll bring to the Oscars next month. After getting the job, he hinted at bringing lots of dance to the show, and last month, open auditions were held in Hollywood for all dancers. Many SYTYCD alumni showed up, and they’ve begun rehearsals this week for the show. There are going to be 67 dancers in the show! Including last season’s winner, Russell Ferguson who came in as a krumper and ended up winning. I’m sensing he might ended up painted in blue and dancing in front of an Avatar set. And yes, that would be awesome.

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So stay tuned and watch the 82nd Academy Awards Sunday, March 7th on ABC! I’ll be writing a follow-up/reaction post to the show later that week as well.

Many could say that it’s the British Degrassi, but with better accents and brief nudity. Some could simply say that it’s that show with the good guy from Slumdog Millionaire and that kid who was Hugh Grants sidekick in About A Boy.  But after you watch the artfully done first four episodes of the series, you might think differently.

This kid grows up to become every parents worst nightmare.

Set in Bristol England, Skins follows the lives of 8 teenagers and their daily lives.  The troubled teen ensemble genre has been done countless times before, and like the classic sitcom will continue to go on. Some have been done successfully enough to warrant pop culture credibility as well as become a cash crop for channels like The CW, and ABC family. We are all somewhat familiar with these hollow, sugary dramas whether we want to admit to it or not.  Who hasn’t had a Saved By The Bell, or Dawson’s Creek conversation?  Odds are if you were born any time after 1980 you have.

The difference between Skins and it’s teenage dramedy counterparts is the undeniable grittiness of it.  Christ, the name of the show is based on a slang term for condoms.  Sure it certainly has it’s gratuitous fluffier moments, but then it comes right back and slaps you in the face with dysfunction.  Let’s just put it this way, Tony Stonem would eat Chuck Bass alive, roofie Blair, then stand her up at the clinic.

The bottom line is, these are troubled kids. They party, they have lots of sex, and they punch each other in the face, repeatedly.  At any given time at least one of the characters has a black eye.  They openly masturbate and have acne, and I love them all the more for it.

Here is the hook: They are loyal and damaged.  The more you get to know them the more justified their actions become.  There are more daddy issues on this show than in a strip club on Christmas Eve.  I’m new to the show but I would not be surprised if there is an episode where the gang actually go to a strip club on Boxing Day. It wouldn’t be a stretch and I will be right there watching with my tissue paper crown in one hand and a mince pie in the other.

As in horror films, sometimes, technology just flat out fails. You can cry about it and get stabbed, or you can get up and start running again. We here at TV Rots Your Mind Grapes are taking the proactive, non-stabby route. So we’re BACK! I hope you’ve missed us, because we’ve missed you! Our server died, but we’re rebuilding and this lil blog will be better than ever, thanks to our amazing contributors and good friends that we’ve made along the way. Cheers, kids. We look forward to pumping sass, wit and nonsense to you on a daily basis, per usual. Hold on to your butts.

Happy Hump Day everyone. As you may have noticed, TV Rots Your Mind Grapes has been down for about two weeks. We miss it just as much as you do! (Maybe more, haha). Anyway, we should be back with a vengeance, and soon. So sit tight ma’ babies.